We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
zippers are such a cool invention
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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