Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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