I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
