Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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