Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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