haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
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