I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
