Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
