You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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