make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
