worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
