return my video game
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
3pm strippers are depressing
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
