You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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