Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
