I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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