I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
