just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
