It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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