Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
