is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Say something about gay babies.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
