idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
