and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
