I'm pants shitting drunk right now
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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