at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
