You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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