he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
