dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize