We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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