May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
