I'm going to jail i love you
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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