i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
