I am puke
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
vagina is talking i cant
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
