Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
