Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You can't special order awesome
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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