I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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