ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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