My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
