Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can I color on your dick again?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
did you just send me my own nude
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize