No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
