yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
