when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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