Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
