why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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