There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
