how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
