Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
