yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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