hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
