IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
