As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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