Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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