dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
