accomplished twins. life is a go
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm at about main and main street
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
