my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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