When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
