hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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