I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
