What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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