it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
