As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
