and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
