i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
