Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She even gives head with a lisp.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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